âSitting alone in my house and in sadnessâ: Melissa Leong opens up about her grief
<p><em>Masterchef Australia</em>âs Melissa Leong has spoken publicly about the grieving process for the first time since losing her friend and fellow chef, Jock Zonfrillo. </p>
<p>In a piece for<em> Stellar</em>, Melissa reflected on both life and loss, alluding to her own experiences âwith this most enveloping of emotionsâ - though she notes early on that it is âtoo soon, too private and too rawâ to address Jockâs passing specifically.</p>
<p>Instead, Melissa writes of her experience âsitting alone in my house and in sadness as I attempt to articulate some of my thoughts, I can tell you it is indeed a strange experience for someone who usually writes from the crystal-clear perspective of hindsight, but here goes âŠ</p>
<p>âFirstly, we all deal with loss differently, and we need to honour that. People talk about the various stages of shock, disbelief, anger, bargaining and acceptance, and while that much is probably true, everyone deals with these exceptional times differently, and at different speeds. </p>
<p>âAs you navigate reaching out to someone whoâs grieving, know that a message of support left unread isnât the recipient rejecting you - sometimes the deluge of support can be more than one can bear. And what people bear can be a lot, because grief often stirs up remnants of other loss, compounding it into something that feels insurmountable.</p>
<p>âWhile some go to pieces, others go to work, finding momentum to cope. This isnât because they arenât feeling, itâs because sometimes focusing on tasks is a way to find purpose in an impossible situation.â</p>
<p>From there, she went on to detail that while some âneed to talk in order to process emotionsâ, others take longer to put their thoughts into words, âif they can at allâ. And while some need to surround themselves with other people, just as many need to be alone. </p>
<p>âThere is no right or wrong way to be in these moments,â she wrote, âjust what is true to you. And whether youâre the person going through it, or the friend on the sidelines feeling helpless, be kind and try not to take things personally.</p>
<p>âThe passing of someone from life is a powerfully shared experience. Even more so when that person lived a huge life and touched the lives of many.</p>
<p>âIn their passing, a community struggles to come to terms with saying goodbye. Outside of immediate family and 'framily' (friends who are like family) members, whose privacy and consideration are paramount, grief is beautifully democratic.</p>
<p>âWe must look outwards as well as inwards when it comes to our experience, checking in on the people in our lives who are also coping with loss.â</p>
<p>And after stressing the importance of taking care of yourself during such difficult periods with the likes of eating and hydrating, and a personal anecdote about her appreciation - as âa feeder by natureâ - for comfort food, she brought her thoughts to a close. </p>
<p>âTo feel grief is to know that the one we lost meant something important to us,â she said, adding that âwhat we feel in grief is proportionate to the joy and light that person gave you â a bittersweet reminder that in life, as we connect to each other, the more thatâs given, the greater the loss is felt.</p>
<p>âIn its own way, grief is a poignant tugging at the heart to remind us that we are alive, that we are human â and to be human is to feel.â</p>
<p><em>Images: Instagram</em></p>
